


momentary loss of connection

by santanico



Series: coming to terms with the unexpected and the unconditional [1]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics)
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M, Fights, First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 12:12:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/santanico/pseuds/santanico
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint does something that he will probably regret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	momentary loss of connection

**Author's Note:**

> instead of writing one big fic, i decided i'd do a bit of a series i guess? it just made sense with the idea i had. anyway, so far, so typical.

They’re arguing. About the dog, Clint’s pretty sure. His voice slurs a little, but he’s not drunk. Neither is Katie. She’s laughing, and as she starts to laugh, he laughs too. Lucky thumps his tail on the floor and whines. Kate reaches down and begins to stroke his head, cooing. Clint feels lost.

“Shouldn’t you be heading home?” he says.

“I don’t know.” Kate glances up at him with a half smile. “What time is it?”

“Almost nine.”

“We could watch a movie.” She’s right. They could watch a movie. He gets a glass of water and she says, “I’ll even make popcorn.”

“Sure.” Clint isn’t sure what’s happening then. He wants to be blunt, to ask her what she’s doing. There’s something different. Katie walks like a queen, always that swing in her hips, a glint in her eye.

She knows him too well. Clint watches her scurry through the kitchen and grab a bag of microwave popcorn. She complains that he has too many expired foods and he shrugs. Sell by dates and expiration dates aren’t the same. Katie sticks the bag in the microwave and sets it for three minutes. He asks why she doesn’t just use the popcorn button and she snaps that the instructions specifically say _not_ to use the button.

“Queen of popcorn,” he says with a nod. “I’ll leave it all to you.”

She bumps his shoulder and laughs as she heads into the living room. She has clothes all over his apartment, and Clint recognizes the jeans she has on today, tight and blue and small, just like her. The shirt is new, a racerback tank that’s loose on her torso. Kate looks beautiful, and Clint is a fucking idiot. He rubs his temple and steps into the room with her as the popcorn pops and Katie rummages through the DVDs under his TV.

“Do you have anything good?” she complains. “You should get Netflix.”

“Why?” he says, sipping his water. Now he wishes he had picked out a beer instead. Katie is tossing his DVDs aside and he frowns. “I have plenty of good movies,” he adds, frowning as an original Brad Pitt DVD hits the floor. “You just have no respect.”

“Blah blah blah,” Katie says. She laughs. “Here we go,” she says and waves the DVD. “Do you really buy all this shit yourself?”

“Hey,” Clint says, striding over. He sets down his water and sits next to her, snatching the DVD out of her hand with a frown. He crosses his legs and opens the case, popping the disc out. “Your kids,” he mutters, leaning forward and turning on the DVD player. Kate is watching him with a smirk. “No respect,” he repeats, “no respect for the classics or your elders.”  
“Don’t refer to yourself as my elder,” Kate warns as Clint places _Gone With The Wind_ into the player. “Are we really going to watch this?”

“You picked it out,” Clint says, and Kate pushes herself to her feet, moving over to the couch. Clint stands as well and heads into the kitchen to get the popcorn Kate had conveniently forgotten. He opens the bag from the microwave and shakes it a bit before heading back. Kate has already started the film, DVD remote in hand. Clint turns off the light and sets the popcorn between them on the couch, sitting opposite of Kate.

As the film plays, it becomes mostly background noise to Clint’s thoughts. Why did we own this movie? He wasn’t sure. It could have been a gift. Movies are easy gifts. Maybe it technically belonged to Bobbi and she never took it. It definitely wasn’t Natasha’s. He doesn’t remember buying it.

“What happened to all the popcorn?” Clint hisses when he reaches into the nearly empty bag. Kate shrugs, licking her fingers. He watches her for a moment. Her eyes are distant but she’s clearly not paying that much attention to the movie either. Clint tries to understand why she’s still here. Doesn’t she have _things_ to do? People to be around, besides him? His chest aches. “Katie.”

“Hawkeye.”

“Hawkeye.” They both smile.

“What?” she demands. She sucks on her pinky and glares at him. She licks her thumb. He stutters out something incoherent and then shakes his head. He doesn’t remember what he was going to say.

Katie stays where she is. She shifts every few minutes in the silence between them, resting her bare feet on the table, stretching her arms over her head, picking at a thumb nail, running a hand idly through her hair.

He’s staring. He looks away. Too late. She’s smiling; he can still see her in his peripheral.

“Clint,” she says, over the sound of the movie. The movie which is at some part Clint can’t remember. “Why do you keep looking at me?”

“You – keep moving.” He winces. “It’s…distracting.”

“Uh. Uh huh.” They both sit back again and Clint tries to pay attention to the film. It’s another ten minutes before Kate says, “Do you not want me here?”

It fills the room with tension and Clint lets out a sigh. “Kate…”

“It’s a fair question. You’re a person, you do things. Sometimes.” Lucky trots out of the room and Clint hears the dog lapping at his water bowl in the kitchen.

“Thanks,” Clint says. “No, I don’t not want you here. You’re absolutely fine here. I’m having a great time.”

“Why are you so far away?” Her voice is quieter now and she tugs her legs up to her chest on the couch. Clint looks at her and grabs the empty bag of popcorn, tossing it onto the table. He reaches over the couch and takes the remote from the spot next to Kate, pausing the movie. Neither of them was giving it much thought anyway.

“What’s wrong?” he says; might as well get right to the issue at hand. “Katie.”

Her eyes are shining. He considers turning a light on to check if she’s crying but then it’s too late. She’s got a hand on the back of his neck and she’s leaning in close and then Kate’s lips are on his. But it’s soft and chaste and unreal – it’s like kissing an angel – and Clint barely has enough time to close his eyes and then it’s over. Kate is pulling away and getting off the couch and then she’s out of the room, and Clint is in the dark with his hands in his lap, gaping.

“Kate,” he calls, fumbling to his feet and following her back into the kitchen. She’s pulling on her jacket and breathing heavily when he catches her. “What are you doing?”

“Sorry,” she tosses his way with a shrug, pulling her hair out from under the collar of her jacket. “You’re right, or whatever, it’s weird, I’m weird.”

“What? Katie.”

When she looks at him she just frowns, then smiles, then shakes her head. “It’s no big deal, Clint. You ask and you shall receive.”

He raises an eyebrow. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” He puts his hands in his pockets, not sure where they belong. Kate is pulling on her sneakers now, socks forgotten wherever she took them off at. 

“You wanted to know what’s wrong.” She stands up straight. She wipes her palms on the thighs of her jeans. “I kissed you. The end.”

“Yeah, I think I’m missing something,” he says. “How is that ‘the end’? You leave? You never come back? It’s not quite – piecing itself together for me.”

Kate rolls her eyes and Clint scowls. “You’re an idiot.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” He grabs her wrist when she clips his shoulder, but not too hard, not too tight. She turns and glares at him. “Kate,” he says, and her lips are dry and cracked and her eyes are stinging with tears. “I don’t get it. I don’t understand why you’re leaving. You haven’t even given me a second to react.”

“What were you going to do, Clint?” she yells, yanking back. He isn’t used to her yelling. Lucky trots in from wherever he was and whines, looking between them with his one eye. Kate isn’t crying but she’s close to it. He reaches out instinctively and holds onto her shoulder. She doesn’t pull away so he tugs her in. Close. 

She clings to his shirt.

When they kiss again, Kate initiates it but she’s teary eyed. Clint isn’t used to young, crying girls pressing their mouths to his so greedily. Still, he kisses her back. To say he hadn’t thought about it before wouldn’t only be a lie, it would be a sin. Kate and her gorgeous smile. Kate and her perfect bowmanship. Kate and her wild hair and messy eyes and her stubborn voice.

Hard not to want that, in any universe.

She’s pulling off his shirt and he isn’t complaining. She’s not crying anymore, though her cheeks are a little stained, and she tugs him towards his bedroom. She kicks off her shoes in the doorway and Clint sits on the bed, unsure what to do with himself.

It’s been a while.

Kate sits on his lap and making decisions is even worse now, but he lets his hands rest on her waist. “C’mon,” Kate mutters, running her hands over his chest. He tugs at her tank and she lifts her arms. He throws it on the ground and then follows up with unclipping her pink bra, admiring her breasts as she tosses the bra to the floor. “Stop staring.”

“Sorry,” Clint says. He’s not. He kisses her collar bone and slides his mouth up to her neck. “What should I do instead?”

“That’s fine,” Kate mumbles, letting out a breath. “You know, that. That’s totally fine.”

He laughs against her. She grinds down on his lap. His cock shouldn’t be this hard so easily. But this is Kate. And he wants Kate to be his, at least in theory. As ridiculous as that sounds to him. He grabs her face, kisses her; it’s sloppy but it’s right. It embodies everything they are.

“Condom,” Kate breathes and Clint pulls her on top of him, rolling over towards the bedside table. She lets out a squeak and steadies herself and he pulls out a box of condoms, carefully removing one from the line and grinning. Kate’s face is flushed pink but she’s smiling too and nodding. “Get your pants off,” she says, and he can’t argue with that.

The room is mostly dark, only outdoor lamps shining through Clint’s window, and they both shuffle on the bed as they undress more fully. When Kate climbs back on top of him, close to his cock but not quite there, he can feel the heat from her cunt – it’s almost too much just on its own.

He wants to relent, and she’s gripping his shoulders as if asking him too, but instead he pushes her back against the bed, leaving the condom aside for now, and snakes his head between her legs.

Kate gasps as his tongue finds her clit, and he gives her several broad, hard sweeps of his tongue before sliding inside of her. Kate moans and he smiles before stroking her clit a few more time and sitting up. He grabs the condom again and rips it open, stroking his dick for good measure before rolling it on. Katie is naked and panting, arms spread over her head and chest and stomach stretched out in a beautiful image underneath him. Clint shifts and holds her legs, pulling her across the sheets. He lines up their bodies and watches as Kate squeezes her eyes shut as the tip of his cock dips inside of her.

It’s – good. She’s wet, tight heat, better than he ever imagined it when he was jacking off while she showered or right after she went home or crashed on his couch. He focuses on what he can, her open mouth, her head turned away and the flush creeping over her normally pale skin. She looks beautiful, perfect and sweet and everything. He gets his fingers in between her legs as he slides in, circling her clit with his index and middle finger, not too hard but enough to make her squeeze around his cock.

“Clint,” she breathes, so low that he can hardly hear her, and he leans over her body and takes her hand in his spare hand, linking their fingers together. He fucks her slow at first, but the pace picks up as Katie starts to whine, squeezing his hand and rolling her hips back against his. The friction and heat make a terrible combination that shakes Clint down to his core. He kisses Kate and her mouth is open and pliant against his, and he’s fucking her hard enough that the old bed is squeaking a little embarrassingly, but none of that really matters, and his orgasm coils and he comes hard, pressed deep inside of Kate, his body quivering.

“Please,” she whines, and he takes a deep breath before rubbing her clit again, harder and faster, determined to get her off. Kate is sighing with it and her body succumbs after a good minute, her orgasm shuddering through her beautifully.

He pulls away as she comes down from it, and they’re both trying to catch their breaths as he pulls off the condom and tosses it into the trash. When he glances at Katie again she’s rolled onto her stomach and she’s pulling at sheets, moving towards the top of the bed again. Clint watches her with a frown as she wraps herself up in his sheets, still naked, head rested on his pillow. He’s about to complain but instead he leans over and sees her fast asleep.

Lots of feelings follow. Elation at first. Excitement. Disaster, if disaster can be a feeling. Sleeping with Kate had specifically been on his ‘do not do this’ list. Along with ‘dying’, ‘get kidnapped’ (he had failed that one quite spectacularly), and ‘lose dog’. Sleeping with Kate, he had felt, would probably negatively affect their partnership.

As stupid as that sounds.

He lies down for a moment on his back, still naked, beside her. It seems right for a second, and he thinks, maybe, he’ll fall asleep and they’ll wake up in the morning, kiss, cuddle, make breakfast, lounge around.

But.

He gets up out of bed and looks at Kate. He grabs a pair of clean boxers out of the drawer and pulls a t-shirt from off the floor over his head. He pads into the bathroom and brushes his teeth, pisses and steps into the shower.

What follows is guilt. He goes for a bike ride and by then it’s only midnight. He comes home, he eats a granola bar.

He crashes on the couch and leaves Katie alone in his bed.


End file.
